So, you’ve decided to try Gestalt therapy, that’s awesome! You’re about to experience something pretty different from what you might expect from regular therapy. If you’ve seen therapy in movies or heard friends talk about lying on couches and talking about your childhood for hours, well… that’s not what’s going to happen here.
Gestalt therapy is all about what’s happening right now, in this moment, between you and your therapist. It’s not about digging into your past or analysing your dreams (though those things might come up naturally). It’s about paying attention to what’s alive and present in the room – your feelings, your body, your thoughts, and the connection between you and your therapist.
Let me walk you through what your first Gestalt therapy session will probably feel like, so you can go in knowing what to expect.
Before You Walk In: It’s About the Relationship
Most therapists will send you some basic paperwork, but don’t worry too much about getting it perfect. In Gestalt therapy, we’re more interested in how you are right now than in your detailed history. Your therapist isn’t going to spend the session reading through your forms – they want to meet you, the real you, in this moment.
The whole idea is that healing happens in a relationship, not through analysis. Your therapist is going to be genuinely present with you, not sitting back, taking notes like some distant observer.
Walking Into Your First Session: Noticing What’s Happening
When you arrive, you might notice you feel nervous, excited, curious, or maybe a bit sceptical. In Gestalt therapy, these feelings aren’t something to push aside or explain away, it’s valuable information about what’s happening for you right now.
Your therapist will probably greet you warmly and invite you into their space. They might even comment on what they notice about you in that moment, not in a judgmental way, but in a “I see you” kind of way. This might feel different from what you expected, but it’s all part of creating a real, authentic connection.
What Happens: Real Connection, Not Interview Mode
The First Few Minutes: Instead of jumping into questions about your history, your Gestalt therapist will probably start by simply being present with you. They might ask how you’re feeling right now, or what you notice in your body as you sit down. This isn’t small talk – it’s about tuning into the present moment together.
I-Thou, Not I-It: Your therapist won’t treat you like a problem to be solved or a case to be analysed. In Gestalt therapy, “any process or method that turns the patient into an object (the I–It) must be strictly secondary to the intimate, and spontaneous, I–Thou relation.” This means they’re going to relate to you as a whole person, not as a collection of symptoms or issues.
Paying Attention Together: Your therapist might ask what you’re aware of, what you’re feeling, what you notice in your body, and what’s happening between you two. This might feel weird at first, but it’s how Gestalt therapy works. We believe that awareness itself is healing.
Contact and Authenticity: Your Gestalt therapist will probably be more real and present than other therapists you might have met. They might share what they’re noticing or feeling in the moment. This isn’t about them making it about themselves, it’s about creating genuine human contact, which is where the real healing happens.
What It Feels Like: More Like a Real Conversation
Here’s the thing about Gestalt therapy: it can feel surprisingly normal and human. Your therapist isn’t going to hide behind a professional mask or speak in therapy-speak. They’re going to show up as a real person who genuinely cares about connecting with you.
The relationship is “characterised by mutuality, directness, presentness, intensity and ineffability.” This means there’s something alive and real happening between you two, not just a one-way conversation where you talk and they analyse.
You might find yourself feeling seen and understood, maybe in a way you haven’t experienced before. Or you might feel a bit uncomfortable with how direct and present everything is. Both reactions are normal.
What We’re Not Doing: No Interrogation or History-Taking
We’re not doing a full life story: Your Gestalt therapist probably won’t ask you to start from the beginning and tell them your whole life story. If past events come up naturally, great, but we’re more interested in how those things are affecting you right now.
We’re not diagnosing or labelling: You won’t get a bunch of questions about symptoms or criteria. Your therapist is more interested in understanding your experience than putting you in a category.
We’re not giving advice: Your therapist isn’t going to tell you what to do or give you a bunch of homework. The idea is that you already have everything you need inside you; we just need to help you access it.
Focus on Awareness and Contact
What am I feeling right now? Your therapist might ask you to notice what’s happening in your body, what emotions are present, or what thoughts are going through your mind.
What’s happening between us? This might be the most different part, as your therapist will probably pay attention to what’s happening in your relationship with them. Are you holding back? Do you feel safe? Are you trying to be perfect? This isn’t weird or inappropriate, it’s actually where a lot of healing happens.
Experiments and trying things: Instead of just talking, your therapist might suggest trying something, maybe speaking directly to someone who isn’t there, or exaggerating a gesture you’re making, or paying attention to how you’re sitting. These aren’t silly games, they’re ways of bringing awareness to things that are usually unconscious.
Common First Session Experiences
“This feels different:” Most people notice right away that Gestalt therapy feels different from what they expected. It’s more immediate, more present, more real.
“I feel seen:” When someone is present with you and paying attention to who you are right now, it can be pretty powerful.
“This is intense:” Because we’re dealing with what’s happening right now instead of talking about it from a distance, things can feel more immediate and alive.
“I don’t know what to do.” That’s perfect! In Gestalt therapy, not knowing is a great place to start. It means you’re present instead of trying to perform.
How to Prepare: Just Show Up
The best way to prepare for Gestalt therapy is not to prepare too much. You don’t need to figure out what to say or how to be. Just show up as you are.
Be curious: Instead of trying to have the right answers, be curious about what you’re experiencing.
Notice your body: Throughout the day, try paying attention to what you feel in your body – tension, relaxation, energy, tiredness. This is the kind of awareness we work with.
Don’t try to be perfect: Your therapist wants to meet the real you, not the version of you that you think you should be.
After Your First Session: Integration and Awareness
After a Gestalt session, you might feel more awake and present than usual. You might also feel a bit stirred up – that’s normal when you’ve been present to your experience.
Some people feel energised, others feel emotional, and some feel a sense of relief from being genuinely seen and met. All of these responses are normal and valuable.
The Relationship Continues to Grow
Gestalt therapy “emphasises using the relational field as the basis for higher spiritual development in both the client and the therapist.” This means that both you and your therapist are going to be changed by your relationship together.
Each session builds on the last, not because you’re working through a treatment plan, but because your capacity for awareness and authentic relationship grows over time.
The Bottom Line: It’s About a Real Meeting
Your first Gestalt therapy session is about meeting – really meeting – another human being who is trained to be present with whatever you bring. It’s not about fixing you or analysing your problems. It’s about creating the conditions where your natural healing and growth can happen.
You don’t need to be anything other than who you are. Your therapist is going to meet you where you are, in this moment, and together you’ll explore what’s possible from there.
The fact that you’re willing to show up and be present with another person in this way is pretty brave. You deserve to be seen, understood, and supported exactly as you are.
A good fit
Gestalt therapy works best when there’s a good fit between you and your therapist. If the relational approach doesn’t feel right with one therapist, it’s completely okay to try someone else. The most important thing is finding someone you feel safe being real with.
